Raising Model

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did.  Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.” On the way to his office he regretted it and decided it wasn’t worth the price.  So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note: “Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: It had never been occupied That there was plenty of heat That it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large.” Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, first of all, I cannot und...

A man walks into a bar, and sees a huge jar sitting on the counter. The jar is stuffed with $10 bills. There has to be at least twenty grand in there. Curious, he approaches the bartender. He asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?” The bartender replies, “You put ten bucks in, and if you complete three challenges, you win the entire jar.” “What are the challenges?” “The money first.” The man’s feeling game, so he fishes a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffs it into the jar. “Tell me,” he says.”Okay,” the bartender says. “First, you gotta drink a whole bottle of tequila in sixty seconds or less, without pulling a face or puking. “Second, there’s a large and angry pit bull chained up out the back. It has a bad tooth. You have to pull that tooth out with your bare hands. “Third, there’s a 90-year-old lady upstairs who’s never had coition in her life. You have to go up there and nail her. “The man is stunned. “You’d have to be crazy to attempt all of that.” “It’s up to you,” the bar...

A blonde woman called her brunette friend. “I’ve been working on a jigsaw puzzle, but I’m completely lost!” “What’s the puzzle supposed to be?” asks the brunette. “The box says it’s a beautiful landscape,” replies the blonde. When the brunette arrives at the blonde’s place, she examines the scattered puzzle pieces and the box image. After a moment of puzzlement, she turns to the blonde and gently says, “I don’t think these pieces will form anything close to a landscape.” The blonde gets flustered, exclaiming, “Don’t worry! Let’s just take a break. Once we’re calm, we can sort these colorful chips back into their bag of assorted candies!”

Two friends decided to put up a sign on top of their car that read: “Ride Around Town — $50.00.” A police officer noticed the sign and pulled them over, informing them that they couldn’t advertise services like that without a permit. Seeing a car pass by with a sign that read: “Free Hugs,” one of the friends asked, “Officer, why don’t you stop them?” The officer smiled and said, “That’s a friendly gesture, not a service for hire.” Respecting the law, the friends removed their sign and continued driving. The next day, the officer saw the same car with a different sign: “Tour Guides — $50.00.”

A husband comes home early from work and notices the mailman leaving hurriedly from his house. Curious, he investigates the situation. He discovers that the mailman had accidentally left a bag of unsorted mail behind. Instead of getting angry, the husband decides to have a bit of fun. He carefully places some silly, harmless notes inside the envelopes and seals them back up before the mailman returns. Later that day, he chuckles to himself, thinking, “I bet those recipients will get a surprise with these goofy notes from their mail!”

A man goes home and asks his wife, “Honey, what would you do if we suddenly came into a bit of extra money?” She answers, “I’d share it with you, of course.” The man chuckles and pulls out a small amount of cash. “Well, guess what? I just found $10! Here’s $5. Now let’s plan something fun together!”